“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.”
Benjamin Franklin
The following is one of the most common questions I’ve been asked over time:
“I always get nervous before a date/meeting/social gathering and that holds me back from being my true and best self and from doing and getting what I want. What can I do to overcome this?”
This was a problem that used to keep me from my goals, and I have more experience with it now than I ever would have hoped.
When I was single, I used to get anxious before going on a date.
Before that, I was nervous about social situations because I had never been on a date in a while.
It was not enjoyable.
It wasn’t impossible to make it through. Today, I want to share three simple habits and steps that completely changed my life.
Step 1: Slow down.
Just a few minutes before you go to the meeting, interview or date that you are nervous about, slow down.
Slow down to get to the meeting point. Move slowly.
Then stop.
Step 2: Take a deep breath.
For a moment, either stand still or just sit down. Then, just breathe. You might need to take a few deeper breaths than normal.
Breathe through your nose and into your belly.
For 1-2 minutes, focus on your slow in-breaths or out-breaths.
This will calm down your mind and body, and make it easier for you to think clearly again.
Moreover, focusing on your breathing will help you to return to the present moment and not lose yourself in past failures or worrying about the future.
Step 3: Assume relationship.
If you assume that someone is a good friend, it means you will pretend to be one before you meet them.
This will enable you to relax, be more comfortable, confident, and have a more enjoyable state of mind.
With this mindset, conversation and smiles flow naturally without any thought.
As with your best friend.
It is, according to my experience, a simple habit to develop but a powerful way to tap into your best social self.
These three steps will become easy habits if you repeat them over and over. As you start to see positive results in social situations, the old norm of feeling anxious will disappear.
A normal where you’re – at least most of the time – relaxed and confident in social situations because all your recent experiences put together have changed how you view yourself and what you expect on dates, in meetings and other such situations.
